When life gets in the way …

Dawn breaks gently on another Advent morn.

A barrage of thoughts crash their way into my mind – forcing me awake earlier than I wish; forcing me to get off the bed and start the day.

But I linger a while longer, reflecting.  So many things to do today Lord, where do I start?   The list is endless.  I am not going to be able to handle all of these unless you send me some help  – or take over the tasks  – or me;  one of the two – or nothing will get done and I am getting stressed at the thought of the never ending list that is looming large in front of me.

I can’t seem to handle these daily issues any more.  Every thing is like a mountain to climb.  I know they are little hillocks  –   not even that … but even a grassy mound seems a big obstacle when you want nothing more than to lie down in stillness, in quiet, and just BE  … a human BE-ING  instead of a human DO-ING!

But I can’t seem to be still because there are so many things that are both urgent and important.   You know they are not frivolous things Lord and they have to get done. In fact I have neglected them too much. I have not been a good steward of what you have given me and I am trying to rectify that without further delay.  Your Word last Sunday – no the previous Sunday – was sharper than the two edged sword which cuts  to the marrow.  I felt convicted.  How can I be trusted with the Kingdom if I don’t take care of the things you  have given me here on earth? if I am not faithful in little things and fail to multiply the talents given me? (Matthew 25.14-30)

So I am trying to correct this with a long list of TO DO’s.  This list would not have piled up on me so LARGE if I had remembered a stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is such a thief of time, and money, and relationships. So many things I want to do Lord … so many elderly people I want to visit before it is too late.

So many good intentions but with all these things on my plate … I can’t do them!   And I cannot ‘still’ myself to focus on Advent which starts today.

Don’t you think that sometimes Lord, life gets in the way of LIFE ?!  

My Aunt Lorraine

Aunty Lorraine

Glamorous, beautifully dressed and always full of life, zest. A gorgeous purple-hued tint in her hair. Pint sized beauty. Always chuckling, laughing. Teasing. Or giving advice. Sometimes unsought which got her into trouble.

Grandmother’s favourite.  Her youngest child who went to England and whose enlarged photo hung in a prominent place in the Dining Room.  There were pictures of everyone there but somehow Aunty Lorraine’s picture was a little larger. Continue reading

Sorry … no ‘Rewind’ button.

The house doctor was listing my options once the angiogram is done. I had already heard it from the Cardiologist and had time to think about it in the quiet of the ICU.

“Is it too late to start walking?” I asked when she finished.  She moved her lips in a half smile. I suddenly felt foolish for asking the question with all the machines surrounding me.  She relented.  “Maybe in a few months. You have to recover first.” .

Oh! I knew that by now  but my deeper question was … is too late to start walking .. EVER?! Continue reading

Becoming what I want to be …

Six months since I set up a blog site  … almost in self defiance –  challenging myself to write  despite the fact that I was just about to give up the idyllic life and re-enter the commercial world.  It was perhaps  a way of putting up a sign post, a land mark, making a promise to myself that I would return to write. Continue reading